“But you’re thin!”

A friend-of-a-friend mentioned on a social networking site that she’d bought a thick foam topper for her mattress. After trying it out she’s thinking she won’t wake up with her hips hurting tomorrow.

I? Stopped myself from responding “But you’re thin!” Because the fact that she’s thin probably isn’t relevant.


It’s been a few hours since I posted this. Initially I wanted to just record my “But you’re thin!” moment, because it did surprise me. I know thin people with hip (or back or knee) problems. I know fat people who don’t have hip (or back or knee) problems. And yet…

My response also struck me as foolish because I know a lot of physical problems depend on multiple factors. Congenital factors, injury history, muscle strength, muscle balance, exercise habits, sleep habits, how well your bed/shoes/etc fits … it all goes together. It’s not just one thing.

I didn’t just injure my knees by being fat; my knees were fine until I decided I was more sedentary than I wanted and started exercising. I made a mistake in assuming that a mile a day was a reasonable place to start, and oh yeah I was recovering from a condition that commonly causes muscle loss. Did my weight make it harder for my muscles to adjust to more activity? Probably. Could a more gradual walking program, perhaps combined with weight training, have avoided the injury? Very possibly.

It’s not just one thing. In the case of the friend-of-a-friend, it may be just the bed. Or it may be related to other things too. Still, changing the bed may be enough, and if so, that’s great.


If you’re remembering me mentioning hip problems before — I did have some hip pain after 4 nights in an uncomfortable hotel bed at a convention I helped put together, but it was totally gone after a few weeks.  Next year will be in a new hotel, so hopefully the problem won’t repeat.

Question: Friends?

This was originally on Formspring — after Heidi’s post on friendship I thought might be interesting over here.

My question–are most of your friends fat or thin? Do you find “fat” to be common ground?
Not currently.  Most of my local friends are average-sized.  (Of course, most people are average-sized. I think it’s a math thing. :)  They may be technically / clinically overweight or obese, but they’re at the size where people will tell them “Oh, you’re not fat”. I also have friends who are thin, including a few who get accused of anorexia, and friends who are fat. I’m married to someone who wears men’s 3X.

I don’t have any local friends who are bigger than me, but I have some long-distance ones who are.


I would add that I done the “find a fellow fat friend” thing, most notably in middle & high school.

I have dated people who are fat and thin, but that is skewed a bit more to the fat side – most of my lovers have been at least clinically overweight or obese.