I grew up either on a diet (and craving what was denied by the diet) or off a diet (and eating everything the diet denied). No in between.
Now I can and do eat what I want. And I find my wants vary. Some days I really, really want, really crave … a banana. Or something meaty. Or something fresh and crunchy, like a crunchy salad or apple slices. Some times I want a burger. Sometimes I just have no interest in them — or am somewhat repelled by them.
I’ve also begun to notice how this is affected by other things. If I get busy at work and don’t eat, I want more energy-dense food later on. If I have a salad for lunch I often want something more substantial for dinner, and vice versa.
The weird thing is that I can remember being in a state where passing up food meant deprivation. Now it usually means I’m not hungry, or I don’t care for whatever-it-is. Sometimes this puzzles or disappoints people who want me to provide their “cover” (“They only don’t have calories if I make them for you”). Sometimes this leads to a brief discussion of HAES, sometimes it’s just there. But that’s OK too.
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