Today I’ve lived a year without my parents. We didn’t always agree, and we especially didn’t always agree about my weight, but they were my parents and I loved them. I am not my parents. Mom, Dad, and I were three very different people. I grew up thinking of myself as one side of a triangle. But eventually I began to see myself as my own person, and not just as their daughter. And we all made our own choices. My parents weren’t always happy with my choices, but what parent IS happy with all their children’s choices? Hell, sometimes I haven’t been totally happy with my choices.
Here’s a secret: I haven’t always been happy with my parents’ choices, either.
Mixed feelings may not be very Hallmark, but at least they’re real.
Today I told the man of the house that I’ve been an orphan for a year. He suggested I consider thinking of myself as “parent-free” instead of “orphaned” or “parent-less.” I laughed. Hopefully being “parent-free” will involve keeping the good memories, letting the hurt fade and keeping the lessons learned.