Category: Family

  • “Ask for Jane”

    A good article on women who were illegal abortionists in 1968-1973. Some of the stories she recalls are heartbreaking. They reflect a time when access even to birth control was limited; when a patchwork of abortion regulations meant that women with the economic means to travel could find care in states that allowed abortion, but […]

  • Saving Our Parents

    As adults, we try to develop the character traits that would have rescued our parents. — Alain de Botton I saw this on Tumblr and … yes.  I learned to manage my money better than my parents.  I looked for the body and size acceptance my mother sought for in diet pills and Ayds.  I avoid […]

  • I Read This And It Changed My Life

    Readers like to talk about books they’ve read.  And one thing you’ll hear about sometimes is “this book changed my life.”   Maybe it was a book that made you feel less alone, or changed how you see the world, or inspired you. But sometimes they’re more mundane than that. Dealing with my father’s finances reinforced […]

  • When home’s not home

    We cannot bring you back when home’s not home We can’t make you pay debts you will not own We cannot reason with the unforeseen We can’t compromise when there’s no in-between — Marian Call, in her song “In The Black”. She’s released both studio and live versions. This reminds me of my parents; making […]

  • “Parent-Free Life”

    Today I’ve lived a year without my parents.  We didn’t always agree, and we especially didn’t always agree about my weight, but they were my parents and I loved them.   I am not my parents.  Mom, Dad, and I were three very different people.  I grew up thinking of myself as one side of […]

  • Five Things Make A Post

    1) I am sooo looking forward to tomorrow morning, when Mark Reads will post the second-to-last chapter of Deadline.   Mark Reads reviews books a chapter at a time, progressing through books every other weekday, and it’s been building to this OMG HUGE second-to-last chapter for weeks.  (Need I say “spoilers”?) Some of the books he’s […]

  • Harriet Brown on Weight Bullying by Parents

    [Discussion of bullying and weight punishments; feel free to skip.] Harriet Brown has a piece in the New York Times Well blog on “Feeling Bullied by Parents About Weight“: Parents and other adults who are “only trying to help” may do harm rather than good, as a recent study from the journal Pediatrics makes clear. It […]

  • Thankful Thursday

    Things that I am thankful for: 1 The man of the house packed a yummy lunch for me today.  He also cooked each night I was home this week. 2 AC. Most houses in Seattle don’t have AC.  I don’t regret installing ours, even if we barely used it last year. 3 A job where […]

  • The Fat Life Isn’t

    Internet is part of life, but it’s not all of life. The people I know offline aren’t surprised that I am married, employed, and co-own a house.  The emails I get from this site often assume these aren’t possible, or that I must be some sort of exception.  There’s also am assumption that my fat […]

  • Kitchen Heroes

    The man of the house made dinner tonight.  Not fancy — a steak stir-fry and garlic bread — but colorful and crunchy yummy.  It’s not uncommon, either.  I work longer hours and I have the longer commute.  A friend was over for dinner tonight and it was comfortable and normal. Today, for some reason, it […]

  • Fat People Die Sooner, Right?

    Reading Michelle’s post on death (cached here if you can’t read it on her site)   got me thinking. How else on earth could you explain a doctor expressing anger and blame at someone for accidentally dying? And to then vent that anger on his grieving wife? You couldn’t. There was no other explanation but the fear of death, […]

  • QOTD: Dealing with family

    Because I don’t engage in fat hating comments or conversations I really just feel more and more like the black sheep from the family. Many of my family members have undergone bariatric surgery so the stress between them and myself is even worse. I have had one cousin who is a lot older than me […]

  • Thankful Thursday

    [an occasional exercise in gratitude] 1. The man of the house is no longer in the hospital with a 104F (40C) fever.  (That…was scary.) 2. My new job has better health insurance than we had previously. (I’d prefer a single-payer solution, but it’s what I’ve got.) 3. Hospice care is providing more monitoring for my […]

  • Parents

    It is beginning to sink in that my father is dying.  My mother died nearly 6 years ago, so I’ve been managing his finances and meeting with doctors and such. A large part of me feels numb. I’ve written before that I didn’t have the best relationship with my parents as an adult.  Part of […]

  • Waiting

    I am waiting outside a medical supply store that’s closed for lunch. Why? To pick up some catheter supplies for my dad. Yes, my life is so glamorous. :/

  • For All The Parents Out There…

    Think about how you will react if your child is fat.  Over time, if you’re making it clear that you don’t want a fat son or daughter, well, your son or daughter may not be able to stop being fat.  But your son or daughter can eventually choose to stop being your son or daughter. […]

  • Thankful Thursday

    [an occasional exercise in gratitude] Sherlock is on Netflix instant streaming. A mild summer. My new dress (this, size H, in blue) fits great, is nice and cool, and has pockets. My father and his new care home appear to be getting along. I am getting enough sleep and my anxiety is decreasing. Next weekend will […]