Saving Our Parents

As adults, we try to develop the character traits that would have rescued our parents.
— Alain de Botton
I saw this on Tumblr and … yes.  I learned to manage my money better than my parents.  I looked for the body and size acceptance my mother sought for in diet pills and Ayds.  I avoid the family members that don’t accept meI rebelled against my father by not smoking.  I got the college degree that neither of my parents had.
I still have problems, of course.  I just have different ones.



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5 responses to “Saving Our Parents”

  1. Mike S. Avatar
    Mike S.

    As a parent, I’ve tried different approaches to discipline and child-raising in general than my parents used. So I am in the same boat as you – I am making mistakes, just different ones.

    As for finances, my parents tried to prepare me properly for the costs involved in being an adult. But I still screwed up time after time and only managed to stay out of serious financial problems with dumb luck. On the bright side, nothing motivated me to go from “skills just adequate to not get myself fired” to “competent enough to get offers from multiple employers” like the prospect of losing my house.

  2. Fivehundredpoundpeep Avatar

    I am not sure what would have rescued mine. Having a conscience and feelings would have helped in their case. That is not something I can provide. LOL. My life has been a path totally diverted from my parents even in terms of values. I agree with avoiding family members that do not accept you. I have made the step of going “no contact” with my entire family. I suppose as far as this society is considered my parents were/are higher functioning but then one has to face facts they are who they are, parents or not.

    I am glad you were able to overcome things they went with. Perhaps I have too, it’s just harder to see. Mine were extremely materialistic and were not attached to people. While I am poor at least I have good friends, and strong religious faith. I failed at ‘making a living’ part but then I had the sort of childhood that works to destroy confidence. I suppose if I had children, I would have broken the narcissistic cycle. Maybe breaking it for myself will mean progress. I hope so.

  3. Susie Kline Avatar

    I’ve been trying to remember the name of the Ayds candy! I remember my mother having those around when I was a kid. The new diet product being advertised on tv reminds me of them! Thanks for the brain nudge!

    1. Living 400lbs Avatar

      Yup. And then came AIDS and suddenly “Ayds candy that helps you lose weight” was “Ah no.”

  4. tehomet Avatar

    Yes. Makes sense.

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