I live in Seattle, which means The Stranger is a local institution. From The Stranger‘s “regrets” of the previous year — a mishmash of errors they made and regret, errors and non-errors they don’t regret, and various other sarcastic local commentary — comes this sarcastic and possibly blasphemous gem:
Jesus Christ, our Lord and savior, regrets that former Mars Hill pastor Mark Driscoll was such a fucking pussy that he couldn’t even keep his church from falling to shit this year. What kind of man can’t hold down a job?
This is blasphemous in that Jesus himself didn’t necessarily hold down a job. “Itinerant preacher” doesn’t usually come with a boss, paycheck, or a W2. The Jesus that welcomed women would probably not use “pussy” as a putdown. But the god that Mark Driscoll preached definitely would use that slam, and would definitely be contemptuous of a preacher getting kicked out of the church he cofounded and ran.
So yeah. I laughed.