Living ~400lbs

… and believe me I am still alive


Worth Reading

I was damaged as a result of being a fat kid, certainly; however, what damaged me was not my fat, but the messages I received about fatness. I was damaged by both perceiving myself and being treated by others as inferior, an object, something in need of repair, and not a person worthy of basic respect. I was seriously damaged by the endless dieting, such that I grew into adulthood with absolutely no idea of how to eat in a healthful and self-aware way. I was damaged by the idea that so long as I was fat, my life would be forever on hold, as only thin people get to be smart or successful in life.
Lesley at Fatshionista, writing on “childhood obesity”

I haven’t written much about my childhood here, partly because I’ve spent 20 years trying to get past it and partly because I don’t want to open the vein* that would probably be necessary to do so.

Thanks Lesley, for writing something that I wish I’d written.


*Metaphorically speaking. No actual blood involved, just tears.



2 responses to “Worth Reading”

  1. I also feel that I’ve been permanently damaged by the abuse I have suffered my whole life because I’m overweight. I’ve written about what I refer to as “fat post-traumatic stress”. I try to get over these things, as you do, but I think that I first have to understand what type of damage I’ve received in order to get past it.

    In other words, opening a vein is the only way to eventually stop the wounds from hurting. But that’s what is working for me and may not be best for you or anyone else.

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About Me

Former software tester, now retired heart patient having fun and working on building endurance and strength. See also About page.

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